Kindness in honor of Leslie Fischer (1971-2016)

Today was a sad day in our house, because it was the funeral of my mom’s close friend from her college days, Leslie Rabinovitz Fischer.  We heard about Leslie often from my mom, and we knew that Leslie had been battling pancreatic cancer for a few years.

She died last Thursday.  She lived in California and we live in New York, so we didn’t get to see her and her family often, but we always knew from when we were young that she was a close friend of my mom’s.  Last spring break, our family went out to California to see her family.  Although Leslie was cheerful and happy, our mom told us she was very sick. Her husband Geoff spent like a whole day cooking us a gourmet meal.  We also got to know their daughter Emily who is Jack’s age and their son Alex who is a few years older than us.   Alex writes and sells online comics with a friend, if you are interested.  Check out his website at this link.

File Aug 15, 5 35 46 PMWe asked our mom if there was something we could do help cheer her up, and she said there really wasn’t anything, except appreciate all the blessings in our life. We asked if there was a random act of kindness we could do for our mom, so she said we could start by putting away the groceries.

We did that, of course, but we knew that putting away groceries wasn’t enough to show our love and respect for the friendship she had with Leslie.

Mom brought out some of her old photos, and sharing them seemed to cheer her up.  We read some of her text and email exchanges with Leslie. Then we asked our Mom if she wanted to go grab lunch and take a walk on the waterfront. We said we could talk about Leslie and do some acts of kindness along the way.

File Aug 15, 5 23 42 PM

We started at our favorite lunch spot.  Jack asked Mom her favorite memory with Leslie (having her come to our grandparents’ home in Bethesda, MD).  We asked if she went to Leslie’s wedding? (Yes, it was at Shutters in Malibu, on a beautiful day). The funniest moment they shared together? (Leslie seeing a raccoon in my grandparents’ backyard and freaking out).  What will she remember most about Leslie? (Her smile and sense of humor, her positive energy, love of art).  Did my mom know Leslie was going to die this past week? (No, but Leslie did have to cancel a trip to Portugal, so maybe she knew?) Why did she die so young? (Some things in life are not explainable).

We had pretty much cleaned the parking lot, and plenty of people were curious about our efforts.  Some people seemed suspicious.  We decided to move on to the waterfront nearby.  It’s very beautiful, and we could tell our mom was kind of sad.  We continued to walk and pick up trash.  We talked about how Leslie had influenced my mom (got her going to the gym regularly, leading a healthy life).  Whether Leslie had any quirky habits? (stockpiling Diet Coke under her bed during her college years).  We liked hearing about the kind things Leslie did for our mom, like always inviting her for the holidays during college and including my Grandma and Grandpa when they were in town. Leslie’s mom always drove my mom to airport when the school semester was done.

File Aug 15, 5 24 00 PMIt was weird to take a photo with a trash can, but we wanted to show you what a beautiful day it was. It’s the kind of day that should be cheerful, and spent enjoying life.  But for my family and the people who knew Leslie, it was not a happy day at all.  We know it was tough for my mom– and her eyes were all red today.  But we think doing some small good deeds in honor of her friend and talking about her memories with Leslie cheered her up a small bit. My mom agreed and told us that sometimes it is not the act itself (picking up trash) that is the most important part of a good deed, but the impact it has on others. In our case, it was an excuse to spend the day honoring someone special to my mom who died way too young.

—-Jack and Andrew

FULL DISCLOSURE: We asked our mom to proofread this blog for accuracy and provide some copy editing. We hope Leslie’s family will read this blog and take some comfort in knowing how big an impact Leslie had on our family.

 

 

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Dana Steele says:

    Thank you so much! How thoughtful. Xoxo Dana Linker Steele

    Like

    1. Greff Family says:

      Thank you for your nice comments.

      Like

  2. Julie Neale says:

    Blown away by your thoughtfulness and generosity Jack and Andrew. I am going to share this post and your amazing blog with my older son Ryan. Thank you for setting such an amazing example of the ways we can each make a difference and brightening my day after such a sad one.

    Like

  3. Jennifer (Gould) Golbus says:

    What a beautiful tribute to Leslie and to your mom! Brought tears to my eyes. Your boys are blessings!

    Like

  4. Ellie Podway says:

    You are wise beyond your years. Thank you for such a deep heartfelt tribute to Leslie. You touched many hearts. Leslie would be proud of you and honored to be spoken about with such love and tenderness.

    Like

  5. Ellie Podway says:

    You both truly touched my heart . Leslie was a gentle soul and your acts of kindness to honor her could not be a more perfect way to do so. Thank you for reminding us that from sadness and loss, we can be inspired to choose a path of kindness .

    Like

    1. Greff Family says:

      Thank you so much for your nice comment. We still talk about Leslie a lot. Please tell us more about what you will always remember about her.
      Thank you,
      Jack and Andrew

      Like

  6. Lotta says:

    I’m quite pleased with the inmoifatron in this one. TY!

    Like

  7. ANETA ZEBALA says:

    Leslie was a gentle soul, I am the paintings conservator she called when she had a project, we went way back, but not as far back as college. she is missed by all of us in Santa Monic.

    Like

    1. Greff Family says:

      What a nice message. Thank you for sharing this.

      Like

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